


Hunter and Prey

by MurderBaby



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: En medias res, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Midway thru an abandoned fic, Smooch babies, really liked this scene, self-harm ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 16:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6965044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MurderBaby/pseuds/MurderBaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When everything goes wrong, the one thing they have is each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hunter and Prey

**Author's Note:**

> This scene was invented for a story I abandoned, but I liked how it turned out, so I thought I'd share. Yay for my beautiful little smooch babies.
> 
> Note: some suicidal ideation, and blood and such. Take care of you when reading, if that is a trigger. <3

Pulpy vomit with traces of blood cascaded to the ground. Killua fell to his knees, and coughed up bile until his throat was raw. The sick mixed with forest floor, and soon coated his pants and arms.

He hadn't thrown up since he was an infant, he figured. It hurts and made him feel even more helpless. Once there was nothing left in his stomach, tears fell down his filthy cheeks.

"Goddammit!" Killua spat, bubbling over with his frustration. He'd been so careful, he'd been so careful all year. But lately, he'd been so focused again on training, and preparing to go to war again. One ridiculous slip, and now Alluka was gone.

"Killua..." Gon whispered, dripping with sweat and blood. He walked carefully toward Killua, his hands up like he was approaching a wounded, wild beast.

Killua felt his limbs shake, and he clambered to his feet. He looked up, and saw Gon, that terrifying golden aura still surrounding his body. A scream vibrated, unspoken, in his throat. He bit the inside of his lip until it leaked blood on his tongue.

"Stay away..." Killua rasped from his broken throat. He looked up, and saw Gon's face. He'd never seen it look like that. The blood and grime from the battle still coated his cheeks, but he saw something even more upsetting. Gon was crying. Tears poured from his eyes.

Killua's willpower snapped. With a scream older and more painful than words could convey, Killua exploded with aura. He ran into the forest in the opposite direction from the mansion.

He had no where near enough focus to run full speed and avoid colliding with trees, so he alternated bursts of speed fast enough to blast apart tree trunks with a stumbling, lopsided gait. After a few brief minutes, he'd only covered a few miles.

If it weren't for that, Gon would never have caught up to him.

Killua reached a small, but quickly flowing creek, and stumbled over the slippery rocks. Killua fell to his knees, and the startlingly cold mountain water woke up his senses. He realized that he had no idea where he was. He stood up, and expanded his aura as far as he could with what little stamina remained. He forgot where he was going, and what he hoped to do next.

"You're not even able to protect one little girl," he whispered, or did he just think it? It pounded in his brain like a gong. "You've never protected anyone. All you know how to do is run."

He sank into the creek's black stream, and dipped his head and hair into the water. He considered whether he could follow the creek into a river, and the river to a waterfall. The fall probably wouldn't even kill him, he thought, and actually laughed ruefully at the idea. Strong enough to stop himself from dying when he wanted to, but unable to protect the one person who needed him the most.

It was midnight by now, and the darkness was heavy, but he felt himself come awake like morning had just appeared outside his bedroom window. The feeling of sunshine, warmth and light filled his awareness. He flung his head up, and looked around.

"Killua?" said that familiar voice. "There you are!" Gon’s voice wavering between delight and panic. "When you went full speed, I got really scared that I wouldn't be able to find you." 

Gon moved closer, and Killua's stomach pulled in two nauseating directions. He stood up with legs ready to bolt. Yet Gon's aura moved closer, intermingling with his own. It filled him up like warm bath after a delicious dinner. This felt so different from Gon's aura earlier. 

Feet splashed, and Killua closed his eyes. He pressed the heels of his hands into his face, and tilted his head back. The aura Gon gave off was glorious like morning sunshine. He couldn't face it.

"Gon, just leave me alone!" he hissed through clenched teeth. He pulled his hands away, but before he could turn, he saw Gon's face. The weak moonlight hid most of the forest in darkness, but he saw Gon's eyes. They were wet with tears, yet he smiled gently at Killua. Killua grabbed the air with angry fists. He turned away from Gon, and jumped. 

"Killua!" 

Killua felt strong arms wrap around his waist. The momentum of Killua's jump and Gon's strength sent them flying into the nearby brush. 

Killua slammed into the forest floor, knocking the wind out of him. The night had finally drained Killua of all of his training and careful movements. He flailed his arms, and kicked like a wounded animal. 

Gon seemed to float above him, and absorbed every blow without flinching. He flowed like a current. He grabbed both of Killua's wrists, and locked the whip legs in place with his own. Killua screamed.

"Let me go!" Killua said, frustration and panic and shame turning his voice to a painful, husky rasp. 

Gon's golden eyes were steadfast, and his mouth was set seriously. He leaned forward, and Killua pulled his head back in turn. When Killua's head hit the ground, Gon pressed his forehead toward Killua's. Gon spoke, his breath and determination moved between them like an electrical current. 

"No, I'm not going to let go of you, Killua! We're going back together."

Killua halfheartedly struggled to free his arms and legs, but all his power left him. Gon's hands firmly pulled his wrists in, and he pressed his forehead against Killua's. Killua's breath and heart stopped. He had never felt vulnerability like this, and his jaw clenched like a vice.

"We're going back, and then we're going to save Alluka, okay?" 

Killua's eyes closed, and he released his jaw. The certainty in Gon's word allowed Killua to borrow just enough of it to stop struggling. He released his fists, and Gon released his wrists in turn. Gon climbed off, and stood. He offered Killua his hand. 

"Please, Killua, come back with me?" 

Killua looked at his friend. How could Gon look at him like this? Like he was worth saving? He grabbed his hand, and felt himself lifted to his knees. When he moved to pull his feet in underneath himself, he tumbled forward onto his hands. Gon leaned down again. He pressed both of his hands to Killua's cheeks. He pulled Killua's face up until they faced each other on their knees. 

"Killua, I'm not ever going to leave you again, okay?" 

Before Killua could do or say anything in response, Gon pulled off his green jacket, and tore his shirt off. He ripped the shirt into three pieces. He crawled back to the creek, and dunked one of the pieces in the cold water. Killua stayed still, watching, but not understanding. Gon returned, and picked Killua up under his arm pits like he was a toddler. He set him down, and Killua realized then that his leg was soaked in blood from some collision during his desperate run through the forest. 

Killua sat silently as Gon cleaned off the wound on his knee, and tied one strip around his leg. Gon grabbed his left hand, and he saw that his knuckles and palm were also covered in blood. He hadn't felt any of this. He barely felt Gon's hands attend to him, or the cloth wrap around his fingers. 

With the final wet cloth, Gon gently grabbed Killua's chin, and tilted his head up. Gon's eyes narrowed in concentration as he gently swiped the cloth on Killua's forehead and cheek and mouth. Killua felt his stomach fill with something hot, something that moved up his chest and into his throat and nose and eyes. He felt tears again. Not tears of frustration and rage. He felt like he'd been unlocked, and inside the door was nothing but an empty, white room. The emptiness poured out of him in his tears as Gon's kindness filled him. 

"Killua, let's go, okay?" Gon asked, but it wasn't really a question. Gon put the dirty rag in his pocket, and turned around to lift Killua onto his back. Gon moved quickly, but carefully held Killua in place. Killua pressed his check against Gon's shoulder, and felt himself finally go limp. 

Wind flew over Gon's shoulders into Killua's face as Gon ran. The night air turned brittle and chilly as the adrenaline left Killua's body. Gon's back felt hot against his face and hands, and his back and legs shivered. The temperature shift lifted him out of the daze he'd been in for the last few miles of travel on Gon's back. 

"Go-on?" Killua asked, dreamily, with long, slurring syllables. 

"Hmm?"

"Leave me," Killua whispered. His arms dangled in front of Gon's chest. He pulled his arms up, and pressed his fists into Gon's back. "I don't deserve this. I don't deserve your help. I can't save Alluka, I can't do anything. Just leave me!" he whispered, throat constricted with rage and shame. Gon's warm back, and his careful steps, and his strong hands left Killua feeling weak and helpless. He felt like a stupid child. He felt like the failure he was. He couldn't manage to save anyone. He couldn't keep anything he valued safe.

Gon's run slowed to a jog, and then came to a stop. Killua looked up, puzzled. Gon's head and neck curved down. Killua sensed familiar energy. Gon stood still, and his stubborn, willful, endless pride spilled out of every pore. Gon turned his head back to see Killua's own firmly set mouth. 

"Dammit!" Gon spat, and at the same time lowered himself and Killua to the ground. Killua slid off, waiting on his knees with Gon's anger and frustration quieting him. Gon kneeled on the ground in front of Killua, and raised his head.

"Ging told me that what I choose next is important," Gon said.

Killua held his breath, and felt his fingers and toes twitch with a desire to fight or flee. 

"Ging said a Hunter has to be selfish," Gon said. He placed his hands on his legs, and crouched on his knees, facing Killua. 

"You have to find what matters to you, and chase it to the ends of the Earth." 

On his knees, Gon's face came up level with Killua's bent face and kneeling crouch. Gon's breath escaped in small, ragged gasps. He moved his face so close that Killua could feel the breath on his own lips. 

Killua's voice felt small, and the weight of his heart too great. "Gon?"

Gon's hands were gentle. His palms and fingers held both sides of Killua’s face. Golden eyes pierced the darkness between them. 

"I'm going to be selfish right now, okay?"

Gon kissed him. 

\----------------------

Life split down the middle. Time stood still. Killua felt Gon's lips and hands, and he desperately tried to understand what everything meant. 

Nothing he knew before this moment helped. He was learning everything over again from scratch. He'd touched Gon, and moved with him, countless times. He'd wrestled him, punched him, been punched by him, kicked him and threw him. They'd shared meals and beds and train rides. Killua realized he actually knew nothing at all about him until this moment. 

Gon kissed the same way Gon did everything. Insistently, persistently, and stubbornly. Gon held Killua's head gently in place, not demanding, but making it very clear what he was doing. Killua felt pressing lips and heat and wet warmth, and was stunned. He came to realize what was happening. His hands reached up, and gripped Gon's arms. Gon pulled back until a sliver of night air parted their lips. Killua realized his eyes were closed, and opened them. 

Gon looked at him. His eyes were a question of confusion, eagerness, longing and fear. The answer to the question in Gon’s eyes came wordless from Killua’s mouth and arms. When Killua kissed Gon, he met Gon's brave, foolhardy question with his own careful, thorough process. Gon demonstrated, and Killua searched. Killua learned quickly what happened when he moved this way, when he touched his hand there. But Gon gave as good as he got. Killua felt Gon smile, and it made his stomach flutter. 

Both of them took turns winning and losing. 

When time moved again, Killua blinked his eyes opened, and looked down to see Gon lying beneath him, eyes closed. Gon’s entire face filled with his smile. One eye peeked open, and looked up at Killua with mischievous joy. Killua couldn't bear the pull of that smile, and had to turn away, blushing from his forehead to his chest. 

"Hee, Killua, you're embarrassed."

Killua's head whipped back, and he curled his lips into a sneer. He shoved his right index finger into Gon's forehead. 

"Stupid! You're the one who started kissing me in the middle of the night like it was nothing!" 

Gon grabbed Killua's hand, and pressed it to his lips. Gon's eyes asked for, and took, more than Killua knew how to give. He pulled himself up and off of his friend, and crouched low, unable to look into his friend's face. 

"I've wanted to do that for a long time," Gon said. 

Killua glanced at the ground next to Gon as he listened, to try and hide his blushing face. 

"You have?" Killua replied. 

"Yeah, I mean, I've definitely wanted to kiss you forever, Killua."

How could he say something like that so easily? Killua ran his hands through his hair, and pressed his warm face against his arms. How could Gon feel so much, and feel so strongly, and not fall apart at the seams from the pressure? 

"But that wasn't what I meant earlier when I said I knew what I wanted," Gon said, sitting up. He pulled his knees in, and balanced his chin on them. Gon continued.

"What I meant is that I don't want you to give up, Killua. I don't want you to die, either. I want to be with you, and help you. I want to help you get your sister back, too!" 

Killua felt his mind spin, trying to keep up with Gon's emotional flurry. Killua knew he was faster on his feet than Gon, and he was definitely a faster thinker. But Gon was running laps around him right now. Killua said nothing. 

"Killua?" 

Gon's voice went quiet. Killua didn't know how to respond with words. But now he knew how to do something he didn't know before. Killua brushed his left hand through his hair, and pulled Gon's arm with his right. Gon grunted, surprised, and Killua tucked Gon's head under his chin. He hugged Gon. Gon sighed, and giggled with giddy relief. He then stopped, and they both waited in silence, listening to the night and their shared heartbeats. 

"Killua, I'm sorry this happened tonight." Gon said, muffled against Killua's shoulder. 

"Well, dummy, we'll just have to fix it, then." 

Gon and Killua stood, together, and Gon's face showed the first sign of embarrassment all night.

"Um, do you need me to carry you, still?"

Killua clucked his teeth, and stepped next to Gon. He flicked Gon's forehead, hard. Gon yelped, and his eyes blinked closed as he grabbed the bruise. 

By the time Gon opened his eyes again, Killua had already started off into the forest. He called back over his shoulder.

"No, you'll have to catch me again, Gon!"

Gon's sheepish frown exploded into a grin. He nodded, and ran after his prey.


End file.
